Sexy, Sultry, Sensuous Susie Suh

If life is my battlefield then I'm prepared for battle.

If I were a man, I would stalk Susie Suh. If I were gay, I would stalk Susie Suh. For now, I'll just pine and listen and dream. Susie is wonderful.

Susie Suh sings, pours, oozes. Tender. Sad. Personal. Wistful. Hopeful. Vulnerable. Honest.

Introspective songs bring submerged feelings of the past closer to the surface.

Susie Suh knows and sings from heart and soul with an urgent sexuality, both sensual and pure.

How does one sing of hope and pain and yet remain so young?

How does one display an open and world-weary heart without having traveled life's rougher roads?

Susie is a California girl of Korean heritage, singing and performing since elementary school. An older brother gave Susie a guitar at age 13. Soon she was learning chords and writing.

Writing songs as a teenager? Avril Lavigne never put her heart so far out on her sleeve.

Susie went to Brown University and holds a degree in English, not music. Her life degree is a doctorate in historical emotional evocation. With honors.

"Your Battlefield" is a plaintive redux to the countless battles of relationship 'he said, she said.' "Shell" (from the movie Must Love Dogs) journeys from then to now with the tender force of a newborn robin leaving the tortuous constraints of a powder blue shell, to enter a whole new world.

And she's hungry.

My favorite is the raucous "Lucile." With apologies to Kenny Rogers, this Lucille befriends the side of a wild and adventurous Susie not evident in her youth.

What does she say about her own music and success? "My mission has always been to create music that transcends boundaries; to make music that is universal."

What Susie does is give us the ability to transcend the boundaries of our own musical tastes, rooted in the past, and tempt our collective palates with a bounty; delectable morsels of song and soul.

I'm in love with contemporary music. Again.

Susie and her music can be found at SusieSuh.

Why Do Models Walk That Way?

There must be a reason why someone so beautiful would learn to walk so strange.

With apologies to Anheuser-Busch's Budweiser beer, today's fashion shows are cluttered with beautiful Clydesdales. Seemingly gorgeous models strut their six foot, 100-pound frames down a runway and look like sultry horses.

Why do models walk that way? What way? You know, like, that way. The way models walk. Why?

My friend Barbara Marie Hambi (Bambi) was a model in her younger and thinner days. Before food and all the love-hate relationships.

She says some models are gifted and have a natural 'gait.' Others have to be taught, and some top runway models have walking 'coaches.'

Tough work, if you can find it.

There's the "Versace walk." It's kind of a va-va-voom and shake it walk.

There's the "Street walk." Bambi says Street means no swish; more like how people walk on the street in New York. Cold and quick.

There are variations of the street, some less exaggerated; probably tailored for Cleveland styles (is there such a thing?).

Most models on the runway, at least, those I've seen when tagging along with my taller and more socially adept blonde buddy, have a swagger.

No, make that an 'haughty swagger; as if they mean to walk right up to you, step on your toes, swish, reverse course and stride into the sunset.

Without blinking; in love only with themselves.

I can't find an answer for the "why?" Bambi says a walk is important, must be within certain 'accepted' parameters for style and grace; you got it or you don't.

Shrug. Some runway models look like they've been force fed raw spinach greens and lima beans along with their daily portion of gruel; then told they'll get Hostess cupcakes and a box of Little Debbie cakes if they walk the walk (whatever that is).

I've seen the Clydesdale horses at the Anheuser-Busch brewery in St. Louis. They're beautiful animals. Runway models walk the same way.

Even without the fashion and perfect skin, they're beautiful animals. If I had skin like that I'd be in love with me, too.

Is iTunes Music Store Too Cool For You?

What's hot on iTunes Music Store is not what's hot on my iPod.

I'm an early adopter and bought the original five gigabyte iPod way back when. I purchased and downloaded music from the iTunes Music Store when it opened. Since then, I've lost my mojo. Am I no longer iPod cool?

Yes, I check the iTunes Music Store (iTMS) from time to time. Since the store opened I've purchased nearly $1,500 in music, music videos, and TV shows for my Mac and iPod.

Not only did I buy songs from artists that I loved when I was young(er), but iTMS opened me up to new sounds and gave me a chance to celebrate music with a greater selection.

That's cool, right? I've paid my iPod dues. So, where did my mojo go? It must be gone because I'm having a hard time finding artists that I've heard of on iTMS.

No, let me take that back. It's not difficult to find them. I just don't know who all the others are.

For example, right now on the iTunes Music Store home page is Barry Manilow's Greatest Hits (I've got them), Andrea Bocelli's Amore (I swoon), Alabama, and Lisa Loeb. Lisa who?

Uh oh. I can also pre-order Jack Johnson's newest album. Jack who? See what I mean?

I love music videos. The selection at iTMS is anemic. I'm anemic, too, but it's a medical condition, not a statement of inventory.

iTMS' Top 100 music videos is a mixed bag of artists I've never heard, a few I've heard of and never scene or heard, and missing the ones I want.

At the top today is 'Dance, Dance' by Fall Out Boy. Uh huh. Ok. Who? At #4 is Jessica Simpson's 'These Boots Are Made For Walkin.' Jessica's hotter than Nancy Sinatra was at the same age. Nancy's father was a better singer than Jessica's father.

Where's Shania Twain's, 'Man. I Feel Like A Woman.' It'll be a gift for a friend who pines oveer Shania's toy boys.

TV shows from iTMS are hot and so is Apple's iPod with video. I've managed to pick up a few episodes of 'Desperate Housewives' and 'Battlestar Galactica.' I love Steve Carell, but can't handle 'The Office.'

I downloaded a few Saturday Night Live classic skits. 'Samurai' anything is great stuff, no matter your generation.

The Top TV Shows? Uh oh. I'm lost. Dane Cook? I need to stay up later and get aquainted with a new generation. It's tough enough to break in the new kids at SNL. Why is 'Jackass, Episode 1' in the Top 10?

What? Lewis Black didn't even make the Top 10? That's a travesty. Or an indication of a widening generation gap. Hey, I'm an adult. I have an iPod. I buy from iTMS.

Doesn't that make me cool? Apparently not. I don't have one epsidoe of South Park and wouldn't think of downloading an episode entitled, 'Catman Gets An Anal Probe.'

If you're a generation or two removed from the generation that's hot and hip, does that make you less than cool? No. Apple's iTunes Music Store is a bridge for all ages.

I can stay in my pajamas and browse all day long. Try that at Wal-Mart or Tower Records or Sam Goody. Regardless, I've figured out why more of what sells actually sells to yonger generations.

It's not because they're cool. It's not because I've lost my cool. It's a scientific effect heretofore dubbed 'The Patricks Reverse Cascading Effect.™'

Cascading downward from older to younger, each generation has more time to browse, shop, and define what's cool than previous generations.

It's not that we're not cool, we just don't have the time.

Gambling Drug Cure vs. Placebo "Cure"

Gambling is a national pastime and a national problem. Is there a cure?

Cure gambling? Take a pill. Reduce your weight? Take a pill? Get more energy? Take a pill. I say, 'Take a placebo.'

I was watching the TV news tonight when I saw a report on a potential cure for gambling. A pill.

The results of a study show that daily doses of an experimental drug called nalmefene, sometimes used to treat alcoholism, appears to curb the gambling appetite.

Celebrity Poker beware. I'll bet your ratings will fall.

If you're a gambler, take heed. Assuming you want a cure for your gambling habits, odds are good that a pill for you is just around the corner.

In four months of controlled tests, as reported in the LA Times, about 65-percent of gambling patients who took nalmefene showed "significant" improvement toward a cure for gambling. See?

There's hope for Celebrity Poker victims everywhere.

Of course, once the drug is approved to treat compulsive gamblers, I'll bet you the price goes up substantially. Nalmefene has been used to treat alcoholism. There are plenty of cures for that.

What if your health insurance doesn't cover gambling treatment? What if you're poor and don't have a drinking problem?

Not to worry. According to the results of the tests, about 35-percent of gambling patients in the study also show significant improvement just by taking a placebo.

Take the placebo. It's cheaper, and works about half as often as the real thing. That's good odds.

I'll give you three to one that gamblers who can't get the real thing can get the placebo on eBay. Even if it costs half as much as the real drug, you're still ahead.

Cartoon Ran, Editor Fired, Muslims Angered

Live and let live does not have a good life expectancy in the Mideast.

Freedom of speech is one thing. Freedom to terrorize is something else. If you can call me ugly am I free to threaten to kill you? Or fire you? A cartoon in a Danish newspaper draws the conflict strings closer together.

Newspapers throughout Europe have republished controversial images of the Muslim prophet Muhammad. The cartoon images originated in a Danish newspaper and started a firestorm of conflict and threats between the Muslim community and citizens of other countries in Europe.

What is going on? Freedom of speech is being exercised, both good and bad. Oh, there's jet lag, too.

Apparently, the offensive images of Muhammad were published back in September by the conservative Danish newspaper Jylands Posten. Slow readers of the world took offense. Slowly. Call it literary jet lag.

By February, other European newspaper editors were republishng the offensive cartoon images as a defense of freedom of speech and expression amid threats from the Muslim community.

Jefferson Morley of the Washington Post reports that the editor of the newspaper France Soir was fired by the paper's owner, an Egyptian, who apologized to the Muslims.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch in Palestine (I couldn't find it on a map), militants threatened to make martyrs of members of Denmark and Norway's diplomatic core. So much for diplomatic immunity.

Taking cues from the French, officials in Norway surrendered, uh, er... issued a quick apology (from a September 2005 event).

Deputy State Secretary for Foreign Affairs Raymond Johansen said, "this is unfortunate and regrettable." Especially the part about Muslims punishing the offenders and boycotting Danish products.

Do Danish hams sell well in the Mideast?

Of concern to many is the statement from Hizbullah leader Sayyed Hassan Nasrallah, ""We must be prepared to do anything for the defense of the dignity of our Prophet Mohammed."

"Anything?" See why the world is in a mess? Freedom of speech and terroristic threatening don't walk hand in hand.

I still can't find that cartoon.

When You're Not An American Idol

Count me as one of the tens of millions who watch American Idol. I just shake my head.

American Idol started a new season in January and quickly became the top rated TV show. Again. As it was last year, this year's early season displays few of the potential Idols and most of the Idol wannabes. 15 minutes of fame is reduced to 60 seconds, but it's on national TV.

For those of us watching, it should be obvious that many Idol contestants are not expecting to be selected for the trip to Hollywood, despite theatrics and choice phrases directed at the judges.

Cursing, threats, boasts, promises, tears, and fingers, and a once-in-awhile polite, "thank you" is what you hear from the Idol losers.

Their 15 minutes of fame is just 60 seconds of bewilderment, astonishment, surprise, and disappointment. I'm bewildered. The judges are surprised. The Idol contestants are disappointed.

Fortunately, the whole thing lasts only 60 seconds. We get a laugh, shed a tear or two ("how can anyone sing that badly and get that far?"), and watch again the next night.

What amazes me is not that some Idol contestants really want to get sent to Hollywood, it's that some think they should go because they think they have talent when they clearly do not.

That's remarkable, though the self righteous indignation of some contestants may explain the whole Blue state, Red state thing.

Seriously. If you can't sing, you can't sing, but someone needsd to tell you that before you get to the first round audition. Otherwise, the more colorful of the Can't Sing Crowd become water cooler fodder (that's a mixed metaphor whose time has come and gone) the next day.

So far this season we're being entertained more by those who can't sing than by those who can. American Idol's ratings are up over last year.

What's that say? It says we love winners. But we love watching losers lose.

Is Your iPod Too Loud? Sue Apple

In Shakespeare's Henry VI one of the characters, “Dick The Butcher" said, “First thing we do, is kill all the lawyers."

An iPod owner has filed a federal lawsuit against Apple, claiming the device cause hearing loss in people who use it. What's next? Let's sue Oprah because she promoted a fiction book as non-fiction?

The San Jose Mercury News quotes from the suit that portable music players are "inherently defective in design and are not sufficiently adorned with adequate warnings regarding the likelihood of hearing loss."

The suit was filed on behalf of John Kiel Patterson of Louisiana. He's probably of the same Patterson's who wear "Runs With Scissors" t-shirts.

McDonald's gets sued because their coffee is too hot. Hot coffee is supposed to be hot. Hot coffee should not be spilled onto exposed skin.

Has Mister Coffee or Folgers been sued? It must be the brand names that attract goofy lawsuits. McDonald's has also been sued by fat people for making them fat.

Now Apple gets sued for because the iPod causes hearing loss? Can we sue Jay Leno because he makes fun of President Bush. Yes. That's what makes America so much fun.

It's also what makes the country a laughing stock. It's all that freedom. We should sue to have less freedom. No, wait. That's why we elected a Republican president.

The iPod lawsuit says such music devices can produce sounds of more than 115 decibels (that's loud) which can damage the hearing of a person exposed to the sound for more than half a minute per day.

Rock concert goers beware. Children of the 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s, and Rolling Stones concerts, beware.

To be fair, Apple provides a warning with each iPod. It says, "Permanent hearing loss may occur if earphones or headphones are used at high volume." Duh.

Apple should add this phrase to every iPod box: "Warning. You may not purcahse or use the iPod and then sue us for any reason whatsoever, forever, and ever."

Amen.

I have a difficult time sympathizing with people who sue McDonald's because they're too fat. Or the coffee was too hot. It's like blaming Hooters for adultery.

In many European countries, the loser in a civil court case pays the legal costs of the winner. That's an idea whose time has come.

Is It Over For The Internet's Free Ride?

Rubbish or more threats from the phone company? What's the difference?

What's the difference between the Sopranos and the phone company? Nothing that I can tell. Oh, wait. We get phone service and internet access from the phone company. They can hurt you. The Sopranos cannot.

When I first read these comments I was stunned that there wasn't much of an outrage because it appears to be outright extortion from the head of a public utility.

Ed Whitacre, AT&T's chairman and CEO, appears to advocate extortion as a marketing and business policy in this Financial Times article.

Extortion? Talking about Google and others, Whitacre says, "

I think the content providers should be paying for the use of the network – obviously not the piece from the customer to the network, which has already been paid for by the customer in Internet access fees – but for accessing the so-called Internet cloud..."

What's that mean? He wants Google and other sites that use a lot of bandwidth to pay for that bandwidth. Again.

Here's how it works. You sign up to get on the internet with the local internet service provider, or the phone company, or the cable company. They, in turn, connect you to the rest of the internet.

Up front, you've paid to access whatever exists wherever it exists on the internet. The phone company makes profit on those connections.

Guess what? Google does the same. They buy bandwidth from bandwidth providers (a phone company of sorts) that allow their servers to connect to the internet, so you can google Google.

Whitacre wants Google and other "content providers" to cough up more money. They're already paying the phone company (bandwidth providers) to access the internet. AT&T wants them to pay again.

Paul Taylor writes, "

While they have emphasised that they are not seeking to charge additional fees for content and other services delivered on a ‘best effort’ basis, they argue that content providers seeking guaranteed delivery of high quality content should be willing to pay."

Hmmm. That sounds like quality of service, which, in this case is a politically correct term for extortion. If you want connection to the internet, here's the price. If you want it to work all the time, there's another price for that.

How is that different than the "insurance" (Quality of Service) sold by the Sopranos?

Michael Jackson: Black or White?

If you can't tell whether the King of Pop is a King or Queen, you're in good company.

Slate has an interesting article on Michael Jackson, asking, "How 'Black' is Michael Jackson?" Good question. What do you mean by "black?" Race? As in negro? There's an easy answer to that.

Michael's biological parents are "black". So is Michael. But how "black" is Michael Jackson?

No pop music star has ever shared more with controversy than Jackson. The music. The family. The face. The nose. The opulent life style. Lisa Marie Presley. Neverland. The children. The court cases.

MJ is great fodder for TV and news magazines. Recent photos show him to be anything but "black" in the traditional sense.

He'd make a great character for a new Batman movie. The Joker. The Penquin. Michael Jackson.

That's what makes the whole Michael Jackson story so tragic. There's so much talent wrapped up in a package that can only be described as bizarre.

Saturday Night Live once ran a sketch on blacks and how they've become mainstream. Of course, all the examples of successful mainstream "blacks" were the likes of O. J. Simpson, Jimi Hendrix, and others of lesser fame but similar notoriety.

Michael Jackson is "black" in the traditional sense. Black parents. He's no different than any other superstar, white or black, who fell off the edge of the world and couldn't find his way back.

Except Prince.

Goodbye iPod. We Hardly Knew Ye

About to shuffle off into oblivion is the iPod shuffe.

News from Business 2.0 says Apple may ditch the diminutive iPod shuffle in favor of a one gigabyte iPod nano. Is that such a good idea? Where's the Micro, Pequeno, and Invisa when we need them?

Cutting the shuffle is probably a good idea from a cost savings standpoint. It simplifies the line. After all, Apple is in business to make money. An iPod nano with a single gigabyte could replace the shuffle at the same price and sport more features, more "cool."

The iPod nano is hot as owners of older iPods add a second device, and new users flock to the ultra cool white or black with color screen.

So, is the iPod nano "hot" or "cool?" You judge. Also hot is the regular iPod; often known as the "video iPod." It's just an iPod. It does music, photos, and videos.

Still, the iPod shuffle has only been around a year and already it's old hat. Things change. This axiom of business life was brought home in a Saturday Night Live sketch which featured Apple CEO Steve Jobs.

Jobs was shown promoting the new iPod micro which was launched on SNL's Weekend Update as a special report. Immediately after launch, the iPod micro was scrapped.

In place of the just released Micro came the iPod Pequeno. Before we could get a look at the tiny Pequeno, it was replaced by the invisible iPod invisa, touted to hold 8-million songs and every photograph ever taken.

I was tempted to head to the Apple Store to see what was going on.

What Goes Up, Must Come Down

Google's stock soared from opening day, defying predictions, but not gravity.

One of these days I'll learn to buy stocks when they're low and sell them when they're high, instead of the other way around. You could make more money in the market by doing the opposite of what I do.

What do I do? I told you. Buy high, sell low. It works for me. It's the only true way to a small fortune in stocks. Start with a large fortune in stocks first.

Google is tasting Wall Streets wrath these days. The price to earnings ratio of GOOG is worse than AAPL, as if that matters when selling an overpriced stock so you'll be able to eat and pay rent.

I figured Apple Computer's stock to be too high at $40 a share. It's down a bit, but still in the mid $70s. Microsoft's MSFT? Hasn't budged in five years. Does that make it a bargain?

Stock market proponents argue that stocks are an excellent investment over the long haul. Unfortunately, the dot com bubble taught too many investors that you could make money today, and tomorrow, not next century.

We're into next century already and not much has changed in five years. Except I'm not as rich as I once was. I'm shrinking, too.

Seriously. I'm shrinking. I figure I've lost nearly an inch in height over the past decade, and short of medieval stretching techniques can't figure a way around it. It's part of the circle of life.

What goes up, must come down. I'm coming down. How much stock I have won't help.

Today Is A Good Day To Start

Today is a good day to start a personal web site. Everyone else has one. Why not me?

I've been wanting to do this for about five years. A personal web site. A place where I can log in from anywhere, jot down a few notes, let everyone in the world read my prose and purpose and patter.

It's not that there are few tools to make the online journalistic process easy.

Today I wrote a lengthy article on web site development tools for Mac360. Pick your poison. WordPress. Blogger. Joomla. EE.

There are more ways to express yourself with a web site than anyone would have imagined merely 10 years ago. Many are free and come with packaged designs. You get what they give you.

Desktop publishing swept the world in the late 80s and early 90s. From the year 2000, personal publishing has gone online and mainstream with easy to use online publishing tools.

Some are complex tools that let you create what you want, the way you want it. That's my route. My colors. My design. My layout. My code. My words.

Now that it's here, why? Why put myself through the genuinely difficult task of building something complex, only to be faced with another genuinely complex task of thinking of something to say?

The former takes effort, the latter merely requires a keyboard and being awake.

For better or wose, through the good times and bad times, I now have a place to say what's on my mind. As my mother would say, "Tera, that won't take long."